What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
