Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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