As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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