I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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