Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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