why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
