I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i just had sex bonerless
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
