Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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