I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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