direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
