just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
