im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
