She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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