i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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