let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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