Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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