i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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