Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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