found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
