Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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