Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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