your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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