You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize