Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
