The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
