Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
