he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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