Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
