you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
only you would photoshop your dick
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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