What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize