you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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