I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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