Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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