I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
