i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
