OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
