Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize