i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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