i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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