Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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