oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
