We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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