Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
