forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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