In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
PANTIES FOUND
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