physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize