spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I am one with the molecules
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
