IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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