Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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