hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
