Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he shaved USA in his pubs
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
