We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
