Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
