he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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