Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I need help removing her.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
