i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize