Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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