Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
