you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
