Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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