hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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