She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
