i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
