I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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